Just as a example.......say you get off work and Hang around the house, do your thing and kick back in the recliner, and a ol friend calls you up and offers to come see them and hang out at a nearby pool hall to shoot a few games and drink a few, I'm gonna fill yall in on something I don't think I don't believe I've shared with y'all before, I married a woman I've known my whole life, she married a guy after high school and moved away to Florida, had. 3 kids which I'm currently raising as my own, he is a pos and had joint custody but gets them at his convenience, it puts a strain on our relationship but I'm fine with it, just haven't completely adjusted to 3 kids running around my house...but I'm getting there.. I try my hardest to not get in between there problems.. she is refusing to let him etc the kids because she says he is mean to rhem, I haven't a clue as to what actually happens because like I said I do my best to raise them as my own while they are here, they like to hunt, fish, shot guns etc there dad is a yuppie, he inherited money and thinks his shucks don't stink... I know I'm dragging this out bit I don't have anywhere else to turn but my aldeer brothers, if I try to talk to family about things it s always so one sided, I honestly didn't see a problem with me going out with the boys for a game of pool tonight, she seen it otherwise. I believe and this is just my opinion, that her ex that cheated, and beat her has scared her to he point of no trust.. I wold never cheat on her or have that thought even cross my mind, I believe she is scarred from her previous F up and flat out can't trust me, I want to make it work with us, she tries to keep me on lockdown and I understand from a husband's perspective it wouldn't be right to be out bar hopping on a weekend, I've tried taking my balls and relocaing...what do y'all say? Be honest!! I feel like I'm doing a lot just taking on 3 kids that didn't come from these said balls




Sorry guys, had to vent....rant over

Don't matter the previous. We all need our alone/away time. Mine realizes it though. After she realized I was gonna do it whether she approved or not, it got better.

Go shoot a game of pool, she will get over it or die with it on her mind.

That the way I feel!! God blessed me with a guilt conchense I guess, if I did that I would hear about it for 2 weeks

And my phone would literally catch on fire from her repetitive texts

He'll take her along too. Mine tags along and it's all good.

Does she have friends she goes and does things with while you are at home with the kids? If not, maybe she she should.

If you left her at home to go out with your buddies and didn't offer to include her and she's at home with the kids, then I kinda understand why she is a little bent out of shape with you. If you offered and she declined even when she didn't have other obligations, then she shouldn't be.

If you wanna go out and socialize, find some buddies who like including their wives and takes yours with you when you go out.

Maybe not the suggestions you are looking for, but just my female perspective.

I would if there wasn't our 3 kids and 2 sleeping over, it would be nice occasionally to get a break

I gotcha I thought kids were away.

Will you marry me?

Have her make arrangements for her kids to sleep over at friends houses (or the grandparents - whatever works best) and plan to get together with your friends and take her with you at a later time.

My honest advice is yall aint gonna make it long with her not trusting you and you staying miserable about it..and i know you're miserable.My wife use to "try" to keep me on lockdown.She figured out quick I'll do whatever the hell i get the hankerin to do and she can deal with it.That was a long time ago though.Now i hate leaving my house for anything so i dont take off and leave without her unless theres beer and a Rodeo involved....but if i wanna go do something i promise you my ass will go.Good luck with everything but as much advice you have asked recently i honestly dont see it lasting.Hope im wrong.

Haha. Well, seeing as how we are both already married, I don't think that would work out so well.

Do you think the "drink a few" may be the issue? I thought I remember there being some issues. This may be her concern as well. Alcohol can make people do things they would normally not do. If physical abuse is in her past, the ex may have gone out for a few and came back and took it out on her.

She needs to drop the past if you want it to work. Sounds like a very big adjustment on both ends. I had to sit down with mine and told her look you need some alone time and I need some alone time. We have to have some alone time ever now and then. I stay with the kids while she does her thing then she stays with them when I do mine. But you also need alone time with each outher. As far as the kids staying with their dad. I dont know the story so dont really have any input. But if you see abuse put a stop to it. Take up for the kids and they will have more respect for you. You have to keep in mind with kids dad is dad and mom is mom. When your the outher guy you have earn their trust more than momma.

That's my line of thinking as well, we are all grown adults.. and to be perfectly honest with you as much as I hate to admit it, without trust nothing ever works out...I hope I'm wrong

Could be, we can't seem to get past a normal conversation about something we disagree on without getting into a confrontation. ..I get carried away when I get to drinking and I know it bothers her, maybe that's what she is worried about

No matter how much I love my wife and would want my marriage to last if she didn't trust me that would tell me that her love is not true.I would be a single man.

It's not physical abuse, hearing the kids tell us about it.. he calls them names and they come home with new curse words they learned ..he's a real piece of work

Yup my wife and i are only 25 with 2 kids...i still hunt,Fish, Shoot pool,ride 4wheelers,hang with the boys, long as i spend time with her she is happy. She hasn't ever told me not to do something. Trust is important.

This ^^^^

Change yourself don't expect her to change. Once you have changed see where the relationship is. For example instead of asking why does she not trust me ask yourself what can I do to make her trust me.

Good Luck steelman! Run the table tonight then get it worked out tomorrow. Them kids need someone to look up to.