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Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: Clem] #1838858
09/07/16 08:22 PM
09/07/16 08:22 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 8,504
A
Atoler Offline
14 point
Atoler  Offline
14 point
A
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 8,504
Originally Posted By: Clem
Quote:
We had a guy take the full 12 weeks of FMLA leave for the birth of his child. Ol boy had it tough once returned.


A friend of mine had to threaten to get an attorney involved after his boss and HR department laughed at him for wanting to take the 12 weeks and denied the request. He met all the federal requirements to take leave and they basically told him "Men shouldn't be doing this." After he discussed it with an attorney, got some advice about what to let them know would happen and then talked with them a final time, they granted him the leave.

Then they badgered him during the time off about work-related matters, until he had the attorney contact the HR person to let them know that time off means time off, period. After returning to work the boss treated him like chit as part of an intimidation jackassery campaign, all based on the attitude that "he wasn't a real man" for wanting to be with his wife and newborn instead of at work.

My friend is still employed. The boss later was demoted and subsequently fired, a few years later, when management realized he was ineffective as a leader. He was not missed.


Everyone has to decide what's important to them. In just about any high responsibility position, doing what your buddy did, without there being some serious complications with the birth, is almost certainly going to have long lasting affects on your career. If someone believes 12 weeks off is more important, more power to them. But, there's absolutely nothing wrong with an employer taking the best interest of the company.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838864
09/07/16 11:46 PM
09/07/16 11:46 PM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,021
Tennessee
Bait57 Offline
8 point
Bait57  Offline
8 point
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,021
Tennessee
I took 9 weeks off each time for both my girls. Just used sick time. My wife on the other hand hasn't been back to work since. My oldest girl is 5. She gonna go back to work when the youngest starts school. We are lucky enough that she doesn't have to work right now. But man it will be nice when she does cause I'll be able to get some new toys finally.

I understand different views for different people. I missed out on a lot with my son. And I swore that I would not make then same mistakes with my girls. Life is too short to work it all away. Enjoy the little things.

Last edited by Bait57; 09/07/16 11:50 PM.

I would rather be tried by 12, than carried by 6.

Famous redneck last words -- Hey y'all watch this... Hold my beer.
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838865
09/08/16 12:11 AM
09/08/16 12:11 AM
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 3,455
IN
P
ParrotHead89 Offline
10 point
ParrotHead89  Offline
10 point
P
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 3,455
IN
We get 9 weeks off paid here at school for moms or dads. Some even use sick days to take more time off. I say use them they are your days.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838872
09/08/16 01:04 AM
09/08/16 01:04 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 4,348
Guntersville
K
klay Offline
10 point
klay  Offline
10 point
K
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 4,348
Guntersville
Most of the guys I know with the "I didn't have the baby, only took off one day. Oh, you ask your wife every time you do something, ha!" attitude have been married 3,4, or even 5 times. But it takes all kinds so whatever makes you happy.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: 257wbymag] #1838876
09/08/16 01:16 AM
09/08/16 01:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 12,982
Tuscaloosa
Geno Offline
Booner
Geno  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 12,982
Tuscaloosa
Originally Posted By: 257wbymag
Sooooo why does a man need to take off work when his wife has a baby??? Of course I understand if there's complications but I just don't get it when it's all well.


To spend some time with the wife and new baby. Is this a trick question?


Whoever is happy will make others happy too. Anne Frank
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: doekiller] #1838877
09/08/16 01:18 AM
09/08/16 01:18 AM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 12,982
Tuscaloosa
Geno Offline
Booner
Geno  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 12,982
Tuscaloosa
Originally Posted By: doekiller
My son was born on a Monday night. I started a jury trial on Wednesday. The judge was nice enough to give me Monday and Tuesday.
My wife took off from November to the next August.


Being part of the ruling class has it's perks and it's drawbacks.


Whoever is happy will make others happy too. Anne Frank
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838895
09/08/16 01:55 AM
09/08/16 01:55 AM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 9,375
Jasper, AL
J
joshm28 Offline
14 point
joshm28  Offline
14 point
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 9,375
Jasper, AL
I took about a week off with each but still took phone calls and answered emails.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838916
09/08/16 02:24 AM
09/08/16 02:24 AM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 106
Limestone Co.
S
SouthernGent87 Offline
3 point
SouthernGent87  Offline
3 point
S
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 106
Limestone Co.
I took two weeks of PTO when our son was born. I don't regret it one bit specially being our first. But if I didn't have the vacation stored up and had to take unpaid, yeah probably would have been a few days. Like johndeere said, take off as much as your can afford. They most likely will survive either way.


"Makes sense if you don't think about it..."
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838921
09/08/16 02:28 AM
09/08/16 02:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,361
M
mman Offline
8 point
mman  Offline
8 point
M
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,361
My wife took off work for about 20 years when the first one was born smile That's a decision that neither of us ever regretted.

With our 2 children, I might have taken off a day or two, but I don't really remember to be quite honest. My mom came and stayed about a week or so and I think her mom came for a few days also. Without their help, I would have taken off more.

In the society we live in, I applaud every parent that spends as much time as they can with their children, as newborns, toddlers, grade school, high school, college or married. I have never regretted a second of time spent with my family verses time spent at work.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: mman] #1838978
09/08/16 03:36 AM
09/08/16 03:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 21,456
HSV AL
jmudler Offline
Freak of Nature
jmudler  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 21,456
HSV AL
I took a couple of days. My boss at the time (USAF General) told me to take longer. He said when you retire you will not think about getting that report out or fixing xyz issue. You will regret the things you missed with your family. I don't take time off when we get a foster kid.

Last edited by jmudler; 09/08/16 03:37 AM.

Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1838987
09/08/16 03:56 AM
09/08/16 03:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 499
Pell City, AL
Sheepdog Offline
4 point
Sheepdog  Offline
4 point
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 499
Pell City, AL
With my first I got 4 weeks paid leave. Wasn't going to take it all, but they insisted. With number 2 I was working with the PD and could use whatever time I had for as long as I wanted. I took 2 weeks worth of built up holidays. I guess I'm in the minority here, but I wouldn't change a thing about it, unless it was to take more time off. I loved getting to spend time with them and bond with them. Even loved taken care of my wife and doing whatever she needed done. My kids are my world and I try to spend time with them as much as possible, so I would take that time off at birth again just to spend with them.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1839006
09/08/16 04:16 AM
09/08/16 04:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,533
Monroe Co.,Al
G
gobblebox Offline
10 point
gobblebox  Offline
10 point
G
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,533
Monroe Co.,Al
Take what you need,with 3 other kids she's gonna have her hands full without some help

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: gobblebox] #1839010
09/08/16 04:21 AM
09/08/16 04:21 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,982
Molino, FL
auburn17 Offline
8 point
auburn17  Offline
8 point
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,982
Molino, FL
I took a week off but being in sales I was answering phone calls and working on laptop from home as needed. I don't regret taking a week off one bit

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1839019
09/08/16 04:30 AM
09/08/16 04:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,323
Chelsea, AL
straycat Offline
Old Mossy Horns
straycat  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,323
Chelsea, AL
I took time off with the births of both my sons. At that point I was working in the corporate world with a large company and I had to use vacation time. Couldn't go with no pay from a financial perspective. Glad I took the time to be at home to spend those first few precious moments with God's gifts to our family and to help my wife for a week or so. I can vividly recall those moments.


"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8

"Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt.� Samuel Adams
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1839048
09/08/16 05:04 AM
09/08/16 05:04 AM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,643
Kennedy, al
G
globe Offline
Booner
globe  Offline
Booner
G
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12,643
Kennedy, al
I took two weeks with all three of mine. The lack of sleep is horrible on one person. If I had another one, I'd prob take two weeks again.


Everything woke turns to shucks
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: Yelp softly] #1839097
09/08/16 05:55 AM
09/08/16 05:55 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 7,649
Meridianville
DryFire Offline
14 point
DryFire  Offline
14 point
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 7,649
Meridianville
Originally Posted By: Yelp softly
Paternal leave is B.S. Just because the damn democrats tell you that you can have it doesn't mean you should take it.


At 59, I'm past the having babies part of my life. But I have no problem with a Father taking the full 12 weeks to stay at home with a newborn, Don't care if it's his first or fifth.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: DryFire] #1839110
09/08/16 06:08 AM
09/08/16 06:08 AM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 22,096
USA
R
Remington270 Online content
Freak of Nature
Remington270  Online Content
Freak of Nature
R
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 22,096
USA
Originally Posted By: TexasNative
Originally Posted By: Yelp softly
Paternal leave is B.S. Just because the damn democrats tell you that you can have it doesn't mean you should take it.


At 59, I'm past the having babies part of my life. But I have no problem with a Father taking the full 12 weeks to stay at home with a newborn, Don't care if it's his first or fifth.


Gracious, if you had 5 kids, that would be over a year of your life. I think a week is fine, but I don't really get taking off more than that. You know the mother in law will be there an you'll just be in the way.

Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1839128
09/08/16 06:30 AM
09/08/16 06:30 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,735
Past Ol’ man Finley’s plac...
Southwood7 Offline
Booner
Southwood7  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,735
Past Ol’ man Finley’s plac...
At the end of our lives I doubt any of us will be wishing we had spent more time at work.



The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
Job 33:4
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: Southwood7] #1839143
09/08/16 07:00 AM
09/08/16 07:00 AM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 106
Limestone Co.
S
SouthernGent87 Offline
3 point
SouthernGent87  Offline
3 point
S
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 106
Limestone Co.
Bingo!

Originally Posted By: Southwood7
At the end of our lives I doubt any of us will be wishing we had spent more time at work.


"Makes sense if you don't think about it..."
Re: Maternity leave at work? [Re: ] #1839170
09/08/16 07:36 AM
09/08/16 07:36 AM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,077
Guntersville, AL
B
BirminghamBuck Offline
10 point
BirminghamBuck  Offline
10 point
B
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,077
Guntersville, AL
Originally Posted By: Southwood7
At the end of our lives I doubt any of us will be wishing we had spent more time at work.


I am not at my end yet, and Lord willing I have some more time. I don't wish I had worked more right now. I doubt that will be changing.

This thread sheds light on some of today's societal problems if you ask me. A man's duty is not just to work, but to also be a father and a husband.

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