Always have a beneficiary or person that can access your bank account.
Always handle any changes to your will ASAP.
Always have a beneficiary on your insurance/401K/medical savings plan or anything else like that.
Always have a good estate lawyer because you'll need them.
Always have all your paperwork organized so that the executors job is a little easier.
Still learning things and I'm 40 days into it.

As the executor of both of my parents wills I appreciate this! Tuned in and following!

Same... I am the executor on my grandparents will and need to start getting their stuff in order. Right now I am not on their bank accounts.

I just lost my Mom on 7/27; worst day of my life at the end of a very difficult year of failing health and elder care. Having things in order helped a lot at a very emotional time.
I am oldest of 3 sons and was POA and Executor; POA ceases at death , BTW.
I have a trusting relationship with my brothers.
I was joint on all my mothers bank accounts and beneficiary on brokerage accounts. Also, beneficiary on the only insurance policy. There was no real estate to deal with.
Effectively; all funds were accessible by me on bank accounts or flowed to me from the brokerage accounts with no tax impact. This basically allowed me to just divide everything equally amongst the 3 sons. Other than running the situation by my attorney who is a friend and former college roommate; no attorney or accountant was needed. I just distributed the proceeds equally. I filed the insurance claim on the phone 2 days after her death; they called the funeral home while I was on hold to verify her death and had a check in 2 weeks.
One other interesting thing I found; is there is a website through the State of New York that will do a search for insurance policies. I had an answer in one week and they found a $5000 policy from her employ at Jim Walter Resouces decades ago and once I did paperwork had a check in 2 weeks.
The hardest part was getting the Federal Government to quit sending Veterans benefits payments. I reported her death in early August and they made 4 more monthly payments; so had to keep account open till they finally reclaimed the funds after monthly calls
She also had set down with a friend at Church some time ago and outlined her Order of Service; including who would preside, scripture, sing, songs, etc. And; she wanted this poem read:


ASCENSION

And if I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
--behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.

My family got my grandfather to change his will from me to them just before he committed suicide. I'd spent years lining up everything. They didn't. It was half assed with all the inconsistencies you'd expect.

They told me he wanted it kept secret from me because he was worried I'd be mad. They had it in their heads that way too. I wasn't mad. I was relieved. He knew what he was going to do and didn't want me to have to deal with it.

They weren't smart enough to see it coming. He didn't tell me because if I'd seen the new will, I'd have known immediately what he was going to do. He left his firearms to me, the only items in the entire will that he specified each item by description. He left out the .380 he committed suicide with. He knew I'd catch that clue and that's why he didn't want me to know.

Best part, I was relieved when they told me I wasn't executor. I wasn't mad at all. Then they followed with the mad comment in what I assume was a way to hurt me. And it did. Until I saw the new will. Then it all made sense. In the end, they suffered and I now know who to cut from access from to my life. I'd spent a very long time trying to stay close with them with little or no effort on their part to do the same. I was able to let all that go and move on, spending more time with my immediate family and wasting less time on those who thought little of hurting me.

Bad News: Mom me made her executor and added me to her bank account.

Good News: She's basically broke and there's almost nothing to executor over.

Even if the estate is small, the executor will do a tremendous amount of time consuming work. Whoever you choose be sure they are capable of handling it.
I have seen it a few times where one spouse passes but the other spouse is too old and frail to handle the amount of work required.

Yeah my Grandpa is handling my uncles estate (he passed in May) and he's 88, but you wouldn't know it if ya met him, however Grandma has dementia, and she keeps hiding important mail/papers from him 🤦🏿‍♂️ Thankfully his house has sold, and it's almost over......

Great information. Is there a good resource (book, website, etc) for someone to understand generally what all is involved in being the executor for your parents to be better prepared? This topic is timely as I brought it up with my dad a couple of weeks ago.

Make sure you have the original, notarized will in a safe deposit box.
Get a list of who gets what.
The family member you think won’t be a problem, will be.
Most family members won’t appreciate the amount of time you’ll spend handling things.

If you wish to be cremated all of your living next of kin must sign papers saying they are okay with it…even if it’s in your will.

Some insurance policies must be 2 years old before they are guaranteed to pay out.

Banks will lock your accounts if you have an unsecured loan through them…even if it’s a small part of the value of your accounts. It took me a week and two judges orders to get Guardian to release the portion of funds not needed to pay the loan.

Get at least 10 certified death certificates:

Be prepared to spend many hours in phone conversations.

When the time arrives, go ahead and get several copies of the death certificate.

Didn't read it all, but damn this is worth it's own forum. This knowledge would be helpful for most of us.

A dozen copies is about right

I paid for 8; used 1-2

I learned that no matter how screwed up a job an executor does, if no one objects at the estate closing, the estate will be closed. My aunt that was the executor for her sister (deceased had no children) violated the will from the first item. I got caught up in the mess as an heir (along with 17 other relatives). I could have written a book before it closed (after 5 years). Then the aunt that was the executor got declared incompetent before it closed. You have to file taxes every year until the estate closes. You go January 1 in 2024 and you have to file taxes for that year.

One other thing, if the will is not enforced, there is no criminal punishment. Everything has to be protested as a civil matter.

My mother and my brother both had no contest clauses in their will. My mothers read that anyone that contested her will was to be considered predeceased to herself.

I like that clause