You ever wonder why the Bible uses the example of marriage to relate Jesus' relationship with the Church (believers)? It calls the Church the Bride of Christ, Jesus the Bridegroom, the feast in Heaven after the rapture of the Church is called the Wedding Feast (or Marriage Supper) of the Lamb; "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church". The institution of marriage was created by God to be an earthly example of the relationship that Jesus has with those who believe. (Which is the very reason the institution of marriage is under attack). That is why divorce was originally forbidden, it was not exemplary of that relationship.

All that to ask this question...what is it that makes us married (for those of us that are)? Are we married because we serve our wife and do "works" for her to please her? Does the minute we quit serving her and doing things to please her make us unmarried? Or, are we married because we love our wife and made a decision to enter into a covenant relationship with her? And is it that same love that causes us to want to serve and please her? It's not the works that makes us married, it's the decision we made (because we love her) to enter into that covenant relationship. And it's that same love that causes us to want to serve her and do things that please her. Relationship and works don't function exclusively of each other, and one doesn't cause the other, they work in concert with each other because they're both byproducts of the same thing...love.