Winner^^^^

X2

"I couldn't have bounced a check, there was still money in the account when I wrote it!"

It seems if you have car trouble a popular thing to ask if you're a woman,

"did you check the battery"

Mine was mixing something for a recipe the other day and looked puzzled and asked "What is 1/2 of 2/3rds?"

My wife is a smart, college educated cheerleader, which made this even worse.

While watching a college football game.... Linebacker breaks through almost before the quarterback turns around and the LB drives him into the ground for a sack. My wife says, "He can't do that, he didn't count to 5 Mississippi". I just said, please tell me you know better.

Good one.

While we was dating my wife then girlfriend wrote about 15 bad checks.

She said she didn't understand it, her balance book said zero but when she looked in the bank there was still 600 bucks.

Yep I was asking for it.

Had some guests over for a fried quail supper. One guy commented on how well he enjoyed those "hind legs".

The wife wondered aloud why people don't eat the "front" legs.

I laughed last night when I read that and I laughed again this morning when I read it again. That's just funny right there!

One night we were visiting with some friends. The friends had a son attending the University of Alabama. Our conversation turned toward a discussion of his on campus activiities. Our friend may a remark about fraternities. As the discussion went on, someone made the remark, "that if you aren't Greek at Alabama, then you're a nobody." After a few more remarks had been made, my wife, just as serious as she could be, said, "where did all the Greeks (at Alabama) come from?" At her expense, we all had a pretty good laugh. She turned a beautiful shade of red for a few minutes, but she's a good sport and laughed it off herself.

Yes F150 it is funny, the best one on the thread.

Long story made shorter. T'Storms were headed our way fast. I had 20 acres of hay on the ground. I was baling hay as fast as the baler would eat it. My wife calls screaming, "GET HOME THERE'S A TORNADO WATCH FOR MARSHALL COUNTY!" I said, ok. She said, ARE YOU COMING IN NOW? I said, no. DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID, A TORNADO W A T C H!" I said, yes I heard you, but it's not a warning. She yelled, A WATCH MEANS, WATCH OUT, THERE'S A TORNADO ON THE GROUND! I hung up the phone and kept baling hay. Sometimes it's better to hang up than to say anything.

This is one on a buddy of mine.

All us guys got together to watch a football game one Saturday. Joe was there but he wasn't really a football fan but he wanted to be a part and he tried acting like he knew what was going on. Bama ran a play and got sacked for a huge loss (Shula years) . Well they showed the replay of it. Joe screams in disgust, "They just ran the same d*** play"!!

Oh, that's precious.

^^^ mine losses her car all the time car.

That one made me laugh.

No a wife story, but a dad one. I once got my dad to bet me $10 on a football game playback. I had him going until he noticed they were jumping forward some. LOL

I had some similar fun in the M'gomery Hooters once. I noticed the one TV I was watching was Satellite and the others were network and therefore had an approx 3 second delay from mine. Folks I had my back to thought I was psychic for a while.

I have been getting playboy magazine for about 3 years now and have no idea why. I have never paid a dime for any of it.

Earlier this week the playboy comes in and the cover is Lindsay Lohan. They did a shoot on her titled "Lindsay Reborn". I looked at it and gave it to my wife and said "hey have you seen this with Lindsay Lohan"?

She then looks at me as serious as can be and says "That is not Lindsay Lohan, that is Lindsay Reborn you idiot"!