I can top any and all stories about new wives cooking...

My wife grew up eating casseroles. I grew up eating vegetables. After about a year I finally convinced her that I'd rather have vegetables than vegetable casseroles. Much easier to cook too. I came in from work one day and the house smelled good. I could tell she had vegetables cooking. I was planning to do some work outside so I asked her how long supper would be. She said, "everything is ready except for the cabbage and it shouldn't take long, the water is boiling." So I'm thinking, 10 minutes tops. I go out in the garage and do some piddling. About 20 minutes later I still haven't got the call for supper. I stuck my head in the door and asked if it was ready. She said, "no the cabbage isn't tender yet." I retreated back to the garage and did more piddling. About 15 minutes later I stuck my head back in the door to check on supper again. She said, "I just checked the cabbage again and it's still not ready." I'm thinking, "there's no way in the world that it takes this long to cook cabbage." I look on the stove and there's a large stock pot with steam pouring out from around the lid. I mean that thing looked like it was ready to take flight. I walked over and removed the lid. Yep, there was a WHOLE head of cabbage rolling around in the boiling water. I laughed and said, "you've got to cut up cabbage before you boil it." She says, "no you don't, this is the way my mother cooks it." I said, "Naw, I bet it ain't. It was a long night.

Then there was the cake she cooked. Her uncle was heavily involved with the extension service at Mississippi State. He won an award for a cake recipe he wrote for the extension magazine. It was called Hunters Cake. It was a cake made with no butter and no eggs. It had lots of raisins in it and also ground dates. I dearly loved that cake. My wife made one and I walked in, right after it came out of the oven. She cut me a big slice and wanted me to try it. It smelled so good. I took a big bite and chomped down, and it felt like roofing tacks were being driven into the roof of my mouth. She used WHOLE cloves. I accused her of trying to kill me.

She's a good cook now, but dang I barely survived the early years.

I was going to tell my story of the "Great Tilapia Fight of '08," but it don't hold a candle to this. Godspeed brother.

My wife is still cooking the same way her great grandmother taught her. Needless to say I've packed on some pounds over the past 11yrs.

My wife cant cook worth a schit! She dont know what spices are. Bland bland bland. Miss mommas cooking

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one suffering through their wives cooking. My wife equates all seasonings to salt, ie they’re terrible for you. It’s definitely a tough row.

My wife loves to make her meatloaf, which is something I can barely tolerate to start with. Anyways, I come home to a meatloaf meal one night and sit down to choke my way thru it. I take me a bite and notice an odd taste but couldn’t put my finger on it. She asked how it tasted and Me being the don’t hurt her feelings type say it’s ok but a little weird. She says it’s probably the Raisin Bran I substituted for the crackers(her recipe) since we didn’t have any. Luckily she thought it was horrible and chunked it so I followed suit. Unfortunately, 15 years later it ain’t much better.

My wife is an amazing cook. My mom was as well, oh what I’d give to have just one more of her homemade biscuits. She’s been gone since 2001. Been a long time.

I hide my wife's Christmas presents in the oven.......... She's hasn't found them yet.

My wife is as amazing in the kitchen as she is other places. 😳😳😳😳

My wife’s grandma is an amazing cook. Sadly, that’s where it stopped in the family.
The first 5 or so years we were married were rough-very rough... but getting better.

The other day, my wife got up to cook breakfast.
The closest thing I can compare her to in the mornings would be a zombie sloth. She is definitely as far from a morning person as she can be.
I could smell the bacon as I was getting ready and was as excited as a dog going to the park.
I came out dressed eager to see what awaited me at the breakfast table.
I arrived to a plate full of bacon scrambled eggs and toast that she had gotten out of bed early to prepare.
I was beginning to wonder what she wanted as this was as rare as a day of not receiving a robodial phone call.
But to my surprise it was nothing. She just made breakfast.
The bacon was delicious, crisp as a fall morning.
The toast, a perfect shade of light brown like God intended.
The eggs..... nothing in my life had prepared me for that moment.
I bit into the eggs and I felt as though I had tasted the Dead Sea.
There was enough salt on those eggs, the ocean would've tasted like a fresh mountain spring in a similar way dessert makes good sweet tea seem like water.
My mouth drew up like a snake coiled and ready to strike.
I rushed for my milk glass to attempt to stop my mouth from turning into the Mojave desert and am still unsure I made it in time.
So now as I'm finishing my breakfast, my mouth dryer than an Arizona summer, through my chapped lips I uttered...
"Thank you for breakfast dear, It was delicious."
I am still unsure how to approach the stand the next time she decides to make breakfast, but I don't know if I can go through that again.

Aw crap that ain’t nothin. Come talk to me when you have a clove stick through the roof of your mouth. LOL

i think i just puked in my mouth some

My wife and I have been married 13 years. I can count on one hand how many times she has “cooked”. I do all the cooking that gets done in my house.

Her problem is being impatient. Her theory is everything cooks faster on high. She thinks chili takes 10 min and I should be able to grill chicken breast in 3 min.

She has the table ready and the kids sitting down and they have started eating before everything is done, so I end up putting stuff on their plate as it cooks. After they get done, I get to set down to eat and she’s ready to get the table cleared and she’s already put everything up before I’m done.

All these years, it hasn’t changed and I don’t guess it ever will.

My wife is great cook overall and that has been a development over the years. But there are certain things that she doesn't cook very well....homemade fried chicken or porch chops, homemade gravy, greens, sauteed squash, bbq anything. I do all of that kind of southern soul food cooking normally.

My wife made some baked chicken legs one evening. I was in an ill mood and she was outside when I went to eat them. They were uncooked and tasted like crap. I took the pan and all the legs to the dog kennel. As I walked past her, she asked me what was wrong, so I commenced to telling her how horrible of a cook she was. She ain't baked any chicken legs since.

Wife's an awesome cook so can't complain.
I really like to grill so can't complain '
We make it work

12 years here...i cook everything...she does order 3 meals a week online that I cook and they r good but that only started a couple years ago

Don't you be mistreating that sweet young lady!

If the girls and me depended on the wife cooking we would starve. Me and the 11 year old granddaughter do 90 percent of the cooking.