Thanks guys.

We have a pretty strict routine. Last night we varied from it. She'd already had a bath at my mothers, she'd spent the night there for the weekend. So they tried to bypass bath. These conflicts don't happen often, but the wife expects immediate compliance with everything and the child doesn't want to give it. She does the same with me, but I seem to be able to handle it better than my wife does. Which blows me away, because it was the opposite with my son. We've had our girl off and on since she was 5mo. We had a very difficult time when the biologicals got her back for a while, but we still had her more than they did, even when they had custody. We've had her now for 15 months straight with no interaction from bios. Got custody last summer, but can't adopt yet. Overcoming the lessons learned from the bios is our current task. Most of the time she is well behaved but occasionally, like all children, she becomes difficult. I handle each situation, then let it go. My wife seems to hang on to every situation and let it build up. Honestly, I think it's more my wifes reaction than the child. I don't see the child as any different than others, better than some. My wife compares her to how easy my son was and expects the same. And it's not gonna happen. The wife has to learn to adapt, somehow. Until then I'm the one that has to step in and handle the situation.