Before we were allowed to become foster/adoptive parents we had to take classes for several weeks. Some of the things that the classes stressed over and over:

) Go the extra mile to make sure the kid knows he/she knows they're loved. Pretty often they haven't experienced it so they don't necessarily recognize it when they do.

) Be firm and consistent. NEVER waiver from this. Don't say you're going to ground them if they _______, unless you're really going to ground them if they _______.

) Clean up their diets. Yes sugar and lots of processed foods can contribute, even cause severe behavior issues.

) Seek help when you're in over your head. Research beforehand and seek professional help if needed.

I'm not taking a shot at you. I promise. I agree with your assessment too. Most adults lack discipline. How the hell can they instill it in a child when they don't have it themselves?

This happened to a pastor friend of mine. Ultimately they had to send them to the Grandmother. Kid tried to burn down the parsonage. Prayers for all. Sometimes you can’t turn them around

this.

And don’t contact dhr unless your last option. Once they get a case of chapped ass for some one it never ends. I’ve seen cases adult or child that needed intervention and they do nothing 😬. Then Cases where they are involved and should not be. Lots of politics in that dept and who knows who drives much of what I’ve seen

Yep. I was informed of a stolen handgun in the house. Where it was, etc. I reported. They notified the shitheads it was reported, so it was gone when they arrived. They advertised what was going on. All in an effort to keep the children with the drug addict parents. I tried every resource I had. Nothing came of it.

So when the DHR cow that was in charge was run over in the DHR parking lot by a fellow who had his childen taken, I didn't cheer, but I didn't shed a tear. I'd have attended the funeral to smile but she got lucky and lived. DHR is despicable and have caused more harm to children than they've ever helped. The new case manager was a decent human and had the case closed in favor of saving the child within four months. I'll never forget or forgive the cow that inflicted so much suffering. Ever.

And the judge isn't far behind on that list of horrible people.

1. Diet
2. Discipline
3 diagnosis

yep, probably about time for your coworker to take the belt to the behind.

I don’t know how strongly he disciplines the boy.

I'd tear the hide off that ass every day, until he straightened up or got so afraid of me, that he would not act out anymore!

Got a niece and her husband adopted a girl, biological mother gave up rights after birth, the baby left the hospital with the niece, they are in church when the doors open and discipline her, the girl is going on 5 and is a pleasure to be around. They are parents not friends

Biological mother was on drugs, guess there are exceptions

I’d seek help at a local mental health facility. Could be a myriad of issues and no one here will solve the equation.

Babies born from alcohol or drug abuse moms will have serious behavior issues and no amount of discipline will matter.

As the father of a special needs daughter, I would suggest contacting UAB/ children hospital and making an appointment with their neurology dept.
let them run him through all the test to eliminate any problems that a regular doctor can not detect.

This. I have a close family member who has a boy that sounds similar to this. The child was absolutely out of control and got kicked out of schools, church, friend groups etc. They reportedly did not lay off the belt to the point that they felt they could not continue down that route in good conscience.

They had him tested and it came back some sort of defiance disorder. She talked to her husband about it and he finally said “yeah when I was little my family had to tie me to a tree sometimes”. She was like WTF why didn’t you tell me before we married and had kids.

The drs said the medicine he needed would only be approved by the state after repeated testing and proof this was the only option. I don’t know all the details but apparently the medicine required to control the behavior is normally only given at older ages. Once they have it to him he finally quit harming other kids and was controllable.

I will say this: the child had an extreme growth disorder and was so short for his age you wouldn’t believe it. It was a pituitary disorder. I’m not sure to what extent the two things were related. His dad is fairly tall.

Anyway, as much as I hate medicine for kids, there’s sometimes it’s warranted. You may have to push hard to get it.

has he been checked for autism?

be careful about beating on a child, i know a person who got in a lot of trouble because his child went to school with bruises and told teachers his dad beat him, Child abuse is a serious crime. There is a difference between a good whipping and a beating.