"If Kilmer weren't such a prick, my boy would starting"

"That's what I love about highschool girls...I keep getting older, they stay the same age." - Dazed and Confused

When I go home people'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?" You know what I'll say? I won't say a ------- word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is

Bear Claw Chris Lapp: Full time night woman? I never could find no tracks on a woman's heart. I packed me a squaw for ten year, Pilgrim. Cheyenne, she were, and the meanest bitch that ever balled for beads. I lodge-poled her at Deadwood Creek, and traded her for a Hawken gun. But don't get me wrong; I loves the womens, I surely do. But I swear, a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth, and I can find no sign on it."

Elk don't know how many legs a horse has got.

Bear Claw Chris Lapp: Can you skin Griz?
Jeremiah Johnson: I can skin' em as fast as you can catch' em.
[Bear Claw runs through the cabin with a huge grizzly bear close behind and jumps out the back window]
Bear Claw Chris Lapp: Skin that one, pilgrim, and I'll get you another!

Charley Waite... Men are going to get killed here today,Sue, and im going to kill them.

What we have here, is failure to communicate.
Some men you just can't reach.
So we get what we had here this moring.
Which is the way he wants it, so he gets it.
I don't like it any more than you do.

i like French fried potaters, mmhhhmm.

I like the way you talk!

Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade

Sling blade

Purty good shootin for a man an is licka, ain't it.

How about this one from "My Cousin Vinnie":
Vinnie: Da 2 yoots...
Judge: The 2 what?
Vinnie: Da 2 yoots...
Judge: What's a yoot?

I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull! You Phucked with the wrong Marine!............ Col. Nathan Jessup....

"I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! 1-2-10 boom boom boom boom boom. Keep the change you filthy animal."
One of my favorite Christmas movies!

Yep....

You wanna .... with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

"You climb like old people f=&k Private Pile!"

"I will give you three seconds, exactly three f$%king seconds, to wipe that stupid grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f@!ck you!"

Love me some Gunny....

Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9'er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9'er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

Ain't this somethin'? I told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. "Make your life go here, son. Here's where the people is. Them mountains is for Indians and wild men." "Mother Gue", I says "the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world," and by God, I was right...I ain't never seen 'em, but my common sense tells me the Andes is foothills, and the Alps is for children to climb! Keep good care of your hair! These here is God's finest scupturings! And there ain't no laws for the brave ones! And there ain't no asylums for the crazy ones! And there ain't no churches, except for this right here! And there ain't no priests excepting the birds. By God, I are a mountain man, and I'll live 'til an arrow or a bullet finds me. And then I'll leave my bones on this great map of the magnificent...

...he told us we had to "Endeavor to Persevere". We thought about that for a long time, "Endeavor to persevere." And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the White Man.

Where's that chaplain?...That man's in good standing with The Almighty, and by God, I'm going to pin a medal on him!

Saigon...Sh1t...Two weeks and I'm still in Saigon.

Bonus points if you know where this one came from without googling;
"Who's they?...Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?"
"Every one of them"
"Every one of whom?"
"Every one of whom do you think?"
"I haven't any idea."
"Then how do you know they aren't?"

They done loved him up and turnt him into a horny toad.

Hop in, Boys...we gonna R U N N O F T!

Say, any of you fellas smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?

Prolly my all-time favorite movie...
Am I still in this world?
Yes, Grandfather.
I was afraid of that. Well, sometimes the magic works. Sometimes, it doesn't.
Let's go back to the teepee and eat, my son. My new snake wife cooks dog very well.
All right, Grandfather.
She also has a very soft skin. The only trouble with snake women is they copulate with horses, which makes them strange to me. She say's she doesn't. That's why I call her "Doesn't Like Horses". But, of course, she's lying.

Grandfather, I have a white wife.
You do? That's interesting. Does she cook and does she work hard.
Yes, Grandfather.
That surprises me. Does she show pleasant enthusiasm when you mount her?
Well sure, Grandfather.
That surprises me even more. I tried one of them once, but she didn't show any enthusiasm at all.

Today is a good day to die.

Come out and fight! It is a good day to die! Thank You for making me a Human Being! Thank You for helpin' me to become a warrior! Thank You for my victories, and for my defeats! Thank You for my vision, and the blindness in which I saw further! You make all things and direct them in their ways, O Grandfather. And now You have decided the Human Beings will soon walk a road that leads nowhere. I am gonna die now, unless death wants to fight. And I ask You for the last time to grant me my old power to make things happen.

She was calling him a devil and moaning for help, but I didn't get no idea she wanted to be rescued.

I grew up in a neighborhood that was so rough, you could get shot while you were getting shot!

Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight. My goodness and my fortress... my high tower and my Deliverer. My shield, and he in whom I trust.
Here you go baby.

My family is with me today. They wanted to come with me. To be honest with you, I wasn't sure how I'd feel coming back here. Every day I think about what you said to me that day on the bridge. I tried to live my life the best that I could. I hope that was enough. I hope that, at least in your eyes, I've earned what all of you have done for me.

"The Statue of Liberty is kaput" - that's disconcerting.

I have a letter here, written a long time ago, to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. So bear with me. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln."